you know that feeling when you just feel alone even though people will disagree that you are?

i constantly feel that way. does that mean i’m depressed or i just want new companionship? i just don’t feel connected. everyone around me has a weekend plan and is excited for their plans and i just sit there and think, “aw, that’s nice.”

i’m not the type of person to just jump into a conversation.. heck. i’m dislike making the first move period, but i do it… sometimes, when the person is just as alone as i am. 

the thing about my school is that everyone has their group of friends and it’s like a wall. i’m on the other side and no matter how hard i try to climb over it, i can’t get over that wall. 

if you knew me, you’d know my attempts at trying to make plans end up in a bust. even then, i have to think hard about the people i invite because i don’t have those “ah-ha” moments where i can just list off a number of people i’d want to hang out with. 

my life as a teenager only has small moments of excitement and the rest of it is just wishing for people to talk to on the regular bases.